Being Unemployed Taught Me To Pay Attention To The Seasons & Be Present

I've never really experienced all the seasons, never fully paid attention to them. I've never been here, right now.

After college, I started working in education. To me, the seasons were: the beginning of the school year. Hot. Then the end of that school year and beginning of summer school. Also hot. With some days off, cold, and a little rain in-between. I would think of last school year or the next. Repeat.

What began with an unpaid leave of absence in the spring, resulted in me finally resigning in the summer.

I was hit with an urgency to feel the length of each day, witness the gentle transition of the seasons and be present with life as it was happening.

Spring was blossoming and so was I.

On walks, I saw darkness fade with the early rise of the sun. Flowers flourished and graced me with beauty. The warmth of the sun soothed my skin. I'd lay in grass and marveled at how blue painted the sky, the swaying of branches, green leaves, and the ease of the clouds floating by. I felt the burn from the heat just enough to feel alive.

I fell in love with witnessing change.

I noticed the shift as the morning air became more crisp. Green turned yellow and orange. The sprinkles of leaves grew into piles. I felt the darkness overpower the light, as the sun awakened a minute later each day, and said goodbye even sooner. The blue skies morphed into grey and fog emerged. I watched and listened intently to the rain. Shivers from the chill of the cold stirred me awake.

I used to be afraid of change until I immersed myself in it.

I used to live in other tenses until I paid attention to now.